It’s been ages since I posted something here. The site actually died for a while when I failed to pay for the url reregistration. I heaped a lot on my plate in the last year and my waning commitment to regularly posting made this the logical thing to let fall by the wayside.
But now, since I am 34 weeks pregnant, I think things are finally going to settle down and I’ll have time for all my little side projects. That’s how it works, right?
As my due date approaches (41 days?!?), Matt and I find ourselves incredulously exclaiming with words we wouldn’t use in front of our mothers. How can this actually be happening? And so very soon? I actually still forget that I am pregnant on a daily basis only to be reminded when I open the car door on myself or smack a 7th grader in the back of the head with my enormous belly. (I’m still teaching but keep hoping my doctor will order me off my feet…she won’t she says, at least as long as I am still attending spin classes.)
This next big something on the horizon is the biggest something and yet all I can think about is all I’m giving up: my job – at least temporarily, our mobility, every Saturday out, the freedom to buy boots on a whim…but I recently remembered a quote from the Madeline L’Engle passage my dear cousin, Linda, read at our wedding:
If we commit ourselves to one person for life, this is not, as many people think, a rejection of freedom; rather, it demands the courage to move into all the risks of freedom, and the risk of love which is permanent; into that love which is not possession but participation.
Oh god, parenthood still feels like such a rejection of freedom but marriage with Matt has been exactly what L’Engle promised. It’s the best adult decision I’ve ever made and we’re a pretty good team – having his kid can’t be too bad.
