Today is the first official day of my SPRING BREAK – two weeks prior to this little vacation was probably the hardest, most stressful teaching week I’d ever had. Crazy things happened, which would make entertaining blog posts, but you know, I’ve got “ethics” and know that I shouldn’t write about kids. Even if their antics would make a decent screenplay or, at the very least, a watchable situation comedy.
Just trust me, it was a tiring week and I joined several teacher-friends that Friday to uncorked several bottles of wine and unwind. We psyched ourselves up for the impending week (read: we drank a whole lot) and I went about on to have a stellar, busy weekend with hang outs and make outs. I went to bed late on Sunday and woke up super early and steeled myself to face Monday.
It was clear to me that I was really tired about halfway through the first block and midway through the second block my eyes started to bother me, my contacts get pretty dry at school so I shrugged it off as more of that. I wasn’t feeling super present, but I still kicked ass teaching, breaking up fights, redirecting attention, etc. My vision returned to normal, class ended and the next one began. And then things got weird.
I was trying to read aloud to my students and I was really struggling to remain fluent, I felt so tired – almost drunkenly drowsy – and then I couldn’t say the word that I wanted to say. It kept coming out wrong and I kept saying it over and over again, trying to get it right. The kids just stared at me and then, bless them, they laughed because I sounded silly and strange.
My mental faculties returned and I took the kids down to the cafeteria, where I had lunch duty. Down there I got nauseous and then my right arm went numb. It was hard to explain that last one away – once I was back in my classroom I googled “stroke” and found all my symptoms in a neat little bulleted list on the National Stroke Association website.
I waited about 25 more minutes before I called Matt and had him pick me up and take me to the hospital. By that time I was no longer experiencing any symptoms and aside from being pretty freaked out, I felt fine. A number of people have been critical of the fact that I finished teaching before I dealt with my health scare and to those people I say the following things: (spoiler alert!) I did not have a stroke, I am 29, I work out at least 10 times more than I eat out, I have enviable cholesterol levels, and blood pressure that I often want to brag about. And by the time my trusted friend, the internet, told me that I might have had a stroke or a TIA, I wasn’t having symptoms anymore.
But! I still got checked out – how about that for responsibility? I went to the ER for the first time in 22 years – told the receptionist that “I – uh – experienced some stroke symptoms, so, what should I do?”
“Well,” she sort of laughed, “you’ve come to the right place!”
Turns out the thing to do is sit in an exam room for 4 hours and get lots of tests and then be admitted to the stroke ward where you have to pee in a hat (it’s not what you think!) and people come into your room at 5 in the morning to steal your blood. I had every single test they could think of and I was released 48 hours after I arrived with a clean bill of health: healthy heart, healthy lungs, healthy brain.
So what caused the scary symptoms? The short answer is we don’t really know. It seems the most likely culprit was an “atypical migraine.”
I didn’t tell many people because I knew it sounded way worse than it was but many thank yous to all of my local and not so local friends who sent texts, emails and phone calls, made lesson plans and copies, and sent gorgeous spirit lifting flowers. Especially the ones from my favorite pseudo-Aussie who wrote this in the accompanying card:
Since I don’t know jack shit about flowers, chose the one with the most erotic name: “Lily Explosion.”
Thanks.
